Embracing change:My Healing Journey Unfolded
It seems impossible to think that just over 3 years ago, I was struggling with Anxiety and Lack of Confidence that was pushing me away from being my true self - always looking for a place to hide and adapting my personality to suit the occasion. Sometimes the Anxiety would be around a specific event, or an invitation that would send me in a spin of desperately trying to think of ways to avoid saying 'No' or not being able to express what I really wanted for fear of feeling like a bad person or not being liked. At other times the Anxiety would come from nowhere but would hit me mentally and physically - this would last for days, weeks or even months.
Surprisingly, the tension I carried became a blessing in disguise - I learned to manifest illnesses as an escape. Headaches, muscle tension, stomach pain, fatigue, and sore throats became my 'get out' clause. When I say 'manifest', none of these were wished for willingly or consciously. It may sound unconventional to some, but for those of you who've battled anxiety, you'll be well aware that illnesses often provide a way to cope and are a perfect escape from uncomfortable situations.
Constantly making excuses made me feel like a fool. I lost the joy in life and felt like I was merely existing, constantly on edge about what might come next, trying to avoid potential 'danger'. I became a people pleaser - trying to do what was best for everybody else and wearing the "I'm Ok" mask.
Reframing this experience became a pivotal 'aha' moment for me. Living with anxiety drove me to seek answers, sparking a deep desire to learn about health and wellbeing. This thirst for knowledge and my determination to heal propelled me to empathize with others on their own healing journeys.
My life changed the minute I began to look within. I learned and also embodied how everyone and everything in life was showing up 'for' a reason and once I could see this, I could apply the tools I'd learned to enable me to see where I could experience growth rather than allowing anger, sadness and feelings of not being good enough to overcome me. I began to see that I always had a choice and that by speaking my truth, being myself and approaching situations in an empowered way rather than from a victim mentality, it allowed others to show up differently around me too. I was able to break free from repeating patterns in life that weren't serving me and began to respond rather than react.
In embracing this journey, I've let go of the need to control other people's lives too - making sure that others felt safe and nurtured was a gift that I'd aquired - never wanting anyone else to feel sad or unloved - but i realised that at times, I was hindering their ability to experience and make choices on their own.
This has been a life changing experience for me that I am always excited to share with others and this is what sparked my passion to become a Transformation Coach and Healer. If any of the above resonates with you and you would like to work with me either within a group or 1 to 1 healing and coaching programme, all the details are on my website. I am also happy to connect with you for a free no obligation chat if you have any questions or queries.